#2

Hey Mom,

It's me. I'm at rehearsal, thinking about you. missing you. i can barely keep myself from crying. I feel like I am falling apart at the seams. I feel like I can't stay strong for much longer. I wouldn't want to disappoint you in that way. but i know that i'm allowed to be weak every now and again. "weak" i'm allowed to emote is more like it. I have 2 hours left of rehearsal, my back is in knots and i'm miserable. I wish you were here. If you were here, then i wouldn't be in so much pain. then my life would be normal. but that is not what happened. You are dead and in heaven and you have left me behind to wither away on earth. eventually i will live my life and go on. but right now, i have fallen into the pit of sorrow and I am forever stuck.
i'm thirsty. the girl next to me has a big cup of water.
in a perfect world, i would have a massage and a visit to the chiropractor and  chocolate ice cream and wearing my ravenclaw pants and a tshirt and curl up under the covers and fall into the deepest of sleeps