#1

October 7th, 2015

Dear mom,

I miss you.

Today has been another fairly good day. After several days of weeping, eating chocolate ice cream, and talking to half a dozen friends, I am starting to feel more like myself. I am hoping it is because I am all cried out for the time being. Or maybe that spending this time alone and thinking of myself is therapeutic practice. Granted, its only been a few days that I have really truly have been devoting to myself. I still have to get rid of scott but that shouldn't be too hard. I just need to detox from guys, from hatred, from grief, from a lot of things. I hope these good days keep up. I need to be able to function.

Rehearsal has been in motion for about twenty minutes now. I feel so useless. Any suggestions I give the director she doesn't seem to want to use. As a director myself, I understand having a vision and wanting to stick to it, it is just frustrating, knowing that I am doing this for the experience and feeling like I can't do anything.

The ASM keeps staring at my computer screen. I can see you Megan, don't think I can't! Haha. 

I think I will actually be working on some of my homework during rehearsal. I suddenly feel the need to be productive. Maybe I will pass this semester afterall.

Nevermind. I did one posting- and not in full either- and I have found myself at an impasse. Not only do I not know the material enough to write a post on it, but the one other film that I did watch, there is not an assigned posting for it.

Thanks for listening mom.

Please give me love to Auntie Cheryl, Uncle Tom, Gramby and Gramp, and of course Great Grandmother Louise.